Wednesday 18 January 2012

我还是放不下

  A year passed by just like that, my heart still aching as it had before. It all seemed just as if it was yesterday, just yesterday when the flowers were blooming; but now, withered, fallen, buried deep into the earth. Fresh it was in my memory, how those times we enjoyed together, but now what's left is nothing but a faint, distinct, tattered bits and pieces of that heart-breaking past.




  Unsure of the reason, but I dream still of those images, in which they just kept playing over and over again in my mind. They looked so surreal, and many times have I come to a stage of really believing that all of this was just a bad dream. But alas, waking up ever since has been the starting of my nightmares. I'm dried out of tears to be honest, I tried to adapt, I tried to find happiness, but everything was just as falling apart. Time did give mii time to heal, but time had tried in vain in doing so.




  Of what I've said and done, it's all vivid in my mind, in my past. I tried to move on, everyone tried to tell mii to do so, but things are easier said than done. But gradually, surely, I've improved a lot in terms of my personnel and feelings. I can smile again, I can laugh again, but deep down, there is always a heart-full of an anchoring weight, pulling mii back to where I was once.



  It's funny to feel like this every-time I am alone, or whenever I listened to this song, 我介意, 金沙。It just kept playing over and over in my head, maybe it's because of the lyrics? When the song plays, everything seemed meaningful much to mii. Every word, it's just that damn meaningful!



  No, I've not forgotten everything, though many things are starting to fall apart in my memories. I tried to love another person, but it's this loyal heart that kept pulling mii back. It just aches and burns, the pain is utterly unbearable. Sometimes I wished we've never met, but if that were to be so, I'll never be able to experience what you've given to mii. My heart still beats for a person, and it'll take a whole lot of love to make it re-beat for another once again.




  我还是放不下,it means that I still can't let it go. Many think of it as a stupidity, but I just don't know, maybe I really am stupid, or it's either I've loved a person too much. My wrong-doings, my misunderstandings, I really am sorry for all that. Moving on is always a challenge for mii, it always has been. And now to take my challenge seriously, only time will tell, only time will heal......




  My life's now but a masked personnel, hidden within, a lonely soul~ I really hope to overcome this as soon as possible, hence, one more year, please just one more year to forget everything that has ever occurred. One more year to rebuild myself, one more year to forget us. All it takes is one more year.......

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