Broken...

Like an empty shell,
Without it's soul,
No power no fight,
No will to go.



Like a piercing knife,
So sharp yet so cold,
My heart it stopped,
It's stories left untold.

Behold!
It bleeds,
That dark murky red,
Staining its dull colours,
The heart's now dead.



Behold!
It withers,
That spirit of life,
Plunging into darkness,
Concealing even the slightest light.

Shall there ever be hope?
Shall there ever be light?
Only time would tell,
For now everything's broken inside...

Signing off with a touch of Emptiness:


Nickel Low CJ

Put The Glass Down

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 50grams to 125grams.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

Remember to put the glass down.

**Article adapted and shared from a paragraph in the Dalai Lama & Howard C Cutlers book, Thae Art of Happinness

Signing off:

Nickel Low CJ

Back To Where I Once Was With Something New

  Two years now, a whole two years it has been since I've started off on this blog: Life, as we know it. And here I am again, sipping freshly brewed cappuccino, just the way it was two years ago. Who knew time would've passed by that fast, and oh, before I forget, Happy New Year 2014 to all my readers!


  Well, it just comes down to ironicy that I've started out my 1st blog post here in Starbucks. Much has happen in between now and then, at least to mii that is. The ever-changing tick of the clock has brought to where I am today. Being a medical student in my 4th year, time really is money to mii now. It never seems to stop, seemingly a glitch in man-kind. Preposterous some would call, as it shifts things back into the past with every second, creating 'memories' as what we humans called it.


  Instead of 'stalking' people from the seat of where I was this time (I wasn't stalking anyway in my last post, I was just, erm, observant), I decided to let peace descend upon my mind. It isn't everyday that I get to do this though. And soon enough, I'll be on my way home back to my hometown, a humble city of Alor Star in Kedah. When tranquility seeps in, thoughts flooded in unwillingly. All that I've gone through has made mii what I am today. Ups and downs there were, but who doesn't have them, right? Simply being fair enough to say so.


  Instead of dwelling on the past, I've moved on from where I was, I've changed (at least that I thought I changed). But sometimes however hard you try, there seems to be an obstacle, a hurdle too hard to handle, to get through. Some prefer on perseverance, while others give up trying. For mii, sometimes it just doesn't give having to try over and over again only to accomplish nothing. It deludes mii really. 'You fall down, you pick yourself up', but sometimes you tend to fall too hard to even believe the reason of yourself trying to stand up again. I mean, what's the use of even trying?! (OK, I'm getting into my personnel thoughts now).


  Anyway that aside, I've set some goals for myself in 2014 (this is the real purpose of mii hammering away on my keyboard in the wee hours anyway!)


1. Lose weight? Gain weight? (Well I would target a 10kg reduction, but at the rate I'm gobbling foods and stuff, I think it would be rather the opposite though)

2. Finish 4th year in style and start 5th year in confidence. (I'm enjoying my life as a medical student, day by day. Can't wait to relish on the opportunity of a perfect graduation from CUCMS now)

3. Bonding. (This is a time I think I really should spend more on my family and friends. My working days are soon-to-be around the corner, and I don't wanna miss out on the lovely bits and parcels of life)

4. Living with utmost content. (This has always been a problem for mii. I never felt content in whatever I do. It could prove a positive point in trying to improve myself from time to time, but also it might rear it's dark ugly negative side onto myself)



  You win some, you lose some. Here are some losses I intend to get rid of in myself:


1. Laziness. (Who doesn't have them, right?)

2. Binge eating. (I wouldn't call it binge though, but I did to scare the shit outta myself so I stop sometimes)

3. Lack of consistency. (Starting off well but leaving things dangling at the end is also a problem I'm facing, need to get rid of this a.s.a.p)

4. The trust in a relationship (It comes, it goes. It looks great, then it proves otherwise. It's always the same script, and I intend to get my head right this time, for this year at least. Sometimes, you get cut too deep that you heart just dies off. Having it die off is better, things end abruptly. Mine would be described as sclerosed, get it? I feel nothing, I can't react and it just lingers on there ~~ numbness. Can't eat, can't sleep, just like a walking zombie.)




  Anyhow, Happy New Year once again to all my readers. I hope you've got your resolutions ready and kick start this year with a bang! With warm regards, I wish all of you the best in life!! :)

**Thx Starbucks LCCT for the wonderful hospitality and coffee once again! How could I do without you?!




You can read the very FIRST blog-post of mine on Life, as we know it:

http://nickel-low.blogspot.com/2012/01/night-at-airport.html






Signing off:

Nickel Low CJ