Taking Candy From A Baby?

  That feeling, again, pumping through my veins, my heart, my soul. For the first time after quite some time, it comes to life, that excitement, that adrenaline rush. But then, is it worth another go? Is it worth being kept in mind? And then, it soon came to light, only did I realized, it is better for mii to let go now, before getting hurt once again later. In fact, it came a little too late, as I was left with a bitter disappointment, but deep down that bitterness lies a handful of happiness.

  In life, sometimes there will be disappointments that you cannot avoid, and thus we'll just have to accept facts and reality I guess, no matter how they might be in a disadvantage to us. And for mii, that feeling it just destroys another part of mii, leaving mii vulnerable to all doubts of life. In fact, it would seem like a drama-sort-of-a-kind scene. It's all about timing, and mine, well I just got it all wrong.

  There is no fault in expressing your interest, admiration or love towards someone secretly. Truth is, many of us would just keep our feelings towards another person to ourselves, waiting for the right time to strike, the right time for things to fall in place perfectly. There are even many who waited patiently for that destined time, only to find that person being rounded-up in somebody else's time-hole. Devastating as it could be, it's just life as it is. There are no rules being set, just a simple yet breath-taking mind game on who has the guts to take it to the end. To lose out is nothing but a stepping stone for improvement, or may also be a time for one to just move on.

  Frankly speaking, it would seem easy to put all those into words, but to suffer that final blow is somewhat more terrorizing in reality. As for myself, sometimes I do think I self-destruct, I waited for the right time to go for it, and when time comes, there was then nothing else for mii to go for. To be able to only stand at one side, watching someone else hacking away what you thought was rightfully, or supposedly yours in the beginning, such a sight is simply unbearable to many. 

  I toughen up myself due to many similar occasions, and hence such scene shall never be a life-and -death matter to myself. But those aches do tend to hurt you bit by bit. You put so much hope, you had your happy times, you pushed yourself to work harder for that certain person to gain their heart and trust, and then only to find all your efforts in vain. To mii, I thought I found the right person, a heir to my fragile heart, but then never it was to be in the end.

  Seemingly those great communications we had for one another soon broke down, and it was always the thought of ''Instead of mii which we used to, why now him?'' lingering around that confused mind. Things change so quickly within a blink, and next up you find yourself being left out by the person you care most. You waited for the opportunity; patiently, calmly. But destiny has it's final words, we weren't meant to be. Hence, after a long time now, this feeling, it's inevitable. Is it jealously? Or is it pure care and love, affection towards that certain person? 

  Once again, to mii, I really never knew it would be this hard to handle, as if that other person was taking candy from a baby. But then, toughen up, move on! There will always be someone better in future, waiting for pick-up. I will miss though the fun times we had, for you are that person I used to admire, used to like and maybe love, as long as you are happy, then I shall be happy too! Wish you all the best of luck!! ^-^

Signing off,

Nickel Low C.J.

And they told me...

And they told me,
You weren't there,
Waiting for me though,
Your love declared.


And they told me,
You cried in despair,
Stood up strong,
Our love was all you cared.

And they told me,
Life's just that tough,
It ain't your fault,
You've suffered enough.


And they told me,
You loved the sun,
Its warmth and comfort,
Like our hearts, be one.

Those rustling leaves,
And them dandy trees,
Catching you in my arms,
I needed you to stay.


That cooling mist,
And that friendly breeze,
Blow me into your heart,
Never then we'll be apart.

And hence they told me,
You'll stay for eternity,
Take me by the hand,
Let our love thus, be free!


PS: Let our world be filled with love! The key to a memorable relationship.... ^-^

Signing off:
Nickel Low C.J.

That Old Guitar

That old guitar,
Leaning against cracked walls,
With dust and dirt covered all over.


That old guitar,
It's strings out of tune,
With paint peeling off it's wooden body.

That old guitar,
Playing it's very last song,
With scratches and scars embedded on it's wooden chest.


That old guitar,
There it stands alone; it has lost it's players,
With each second passing by every now and then.

That old guitar,
It stares blank at it's fate; it's destiny,
With memories lingering about it's worn-out strings.


That old guitar,
It has finally reached it's end,
With the falling leaves, it's light fades out; on it went...

  This poem of an old guitar symbolizes the life of an old folk, being left alone and unwanted when he reaches the last stages of its life. The guitar, which used to bring out sweet melodies, bringing joy to everyone; it has now being left alone to face it's final days.

  This poem not only does it show the life of a man, strong and youthful at first, then finally has to put up with its fate and destiny, this poem also implies how selfish and self-caring our society is. That said, this poem is to address on how we treat people who had raised us up since small, and now it is time to care and treat them like the way they did. Love and affection is needed, the old guitar then, shall it rest in peace....

Signing off:
Nickel Low C.J.

The Bond That Was Never-To-Be..

  You know, when you've grown old enough to experience relationships and stuff like that, it really does suck knowing that there would be the consequences of bondage behind those portrayed smiles. And behind those bonds still, lie a handful of hardships and tears to blend in with, a couple of falls and do throw in a few misunderstandings as well. There you have it, a cocktail of a homo-sapiens' life.

  Taking into account of all those bonds, each of them yielding a story relishing on the hopes, dreams and wishes of all human beings alike. Each of them brings out a perspective of their own, and like most of them which succeed in preserving those bonds, there were also some that were never meant to be. Be or not be it, it all lies within destiny itself and also the fragile characteristics of the human mind. The survival of a bond entrusts itself to the understanding capability and the pure-hearted human mind. Sadly to say, not many of us posses that kind of power.

  When things start to take it's toll, that's where the meltdown fits into nature. Those so-called, bonds that were never meant to be, well, they each have a story to tell. Many of them linger around love relationships, where they finally succumb to under pressure and misunderstandings. On recent evidence of the life surrounding mii, one matter of this starts to show through the cracks of this weak-minded society. It's like one party misunderstands the other party, ending up both parties losing and cancelling each other out. A broken bond may also be due to disagreements between two parties. So what? Almost every living being disagrees with each other, it's only us HUMANS that have the upper-hand to think things through and to put things back in order.

  There was never such a thing as breaking a bond due to being 'too different' from each other. Where is all that tolerance? That understanding? That acceptingness? A change is required, no one is to be blamed, and there really is no harm in taking one step back. Accept those you love for what they are, and try to understand how they feel. Cause you'll never know, when you'll feel the same way too...

  To mark an agreement, there are really some things that cannot be resolved unless one party gives way, taking a step backwards. And there are also some that are so very hurtful that resolving was never a necessary issue. Still then, if there were to be a pill or medication for solving everything, I bet that would be one hell of a sale. Friendships and love matters, they are all so delicate, all so important, yet they could be terrifying at the same time. Every bond created in nature could yet yield tears, anger, joy and laughter. There will never be an end to any bond unless we think it is. Materialized and controlled by our own thoughts, we tend to generate wrong thoughts of our loved ones, causing misunderstanding and damage to both sides in the end. Is that even necessary when we could be connected to almost everyone in the world?

  There is no such thing as giving up on a bond for no definite reason. Some people had been together for so long now, and yet they are and will be still together. Losing hope is one thing, losing faith is yet another, but once a bond is broken, there would be nothing else to cling upon to. Misunderstandings must be solved, characters must be changed, but the love for each other, whether as friends, families or lovers, well that should persist, eternally!

''It's tough when someone you care ignores you, but it's even tougher to pretend that you don't mind''


Signing off:
Nickel Low C.J.

Those Little Things...

  The past has always a way in conjuring up an effort to taunt, haunt or rather bother you. It's those simple, little things that makes your heart skip a beat, trust mii, it really messes up your whole day. Well, for mii, the past has been long forgotten, in fact, I'm coping so much better with all the stress compared to a year ago. Time just flies by, and in a blink of an eye, 2 years passed by just like that.

  Dullness isn't really a factor for mii these days, I mean in relationship wise though. Vivid memories just scanned through my thoughts at times, but that's just that. For mii it was an achievement, but through that achievement, I've lied to myself countless times on reality. Deep down that smile portrayed on my face, deep down that happy laughter, deep down to the core of my heart, I am still no other than that person 2 years ago. Lies are the only way to keep mii surviving, to keep mii moving, to push mii through my life. Lies, are they actually my life-line, or a self-destructing drug pondering on limited time?

  Back to the fact that little things conjure up a whorl-full of memories, they just pop out of no where. There're just, they're just there you know, you'll never expect them. Little things such as gifts, places that you once visited with the one you loved, upcoming occasions which used to be so special or even small chats about the person you once loved. All these they have the ability, or rather tendency to make you plunge right back into memory lane, blaming yourself for all those things which could be done, and things that you could have done better. For many it would seem meaningless, for some they think it's just minor and needs sorting out and for some, they think the reason for not forgetting is that you can't let go.

  Truth is, I can't really let go of everything just like that. Some things just mean too much to mii, and it means even more when only then you realise everything was your fault at that time. People can talk all they want, but when reality kicks in, speech is nothing but a way of making a theoretical statement. Living that life is really what matters most.

  But I do take that letting go is the main answer to all my problems, and let go I have. For mii, letting go means being able to accept the way things are, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to get back in good terms and good communications with the latter. In fact, I know that if I do, I'll never have the chance to ever let go, never will this heart die loving even till this day. Many may see it superficially, but few could ever understand that feeling burning deep down inside mii. Today, I plunged myself once again into deep thoughts due to those little things, but that's all. It ends in my thoughts, because it's always gonna be a new day tomorrow and the next day even. Life just has to go on.

  Once in a while, you may feel depressed, you may feel hurt thinking back of all your past, but once in a while, you too may feel the warmth, the laughter and the happiness you once shared with the person you loved.  That said, I felt happy most of the time being able to share such an experience with such a wonderful person. It's just that some of those times, when you see your friends mangling around with the latter, you feel a sense of left out, left out because what was once yours has now become something you couldn't join in the fun with. It's not about letting go, it's about you unable to understand how such a promising relationship could go so horribly wrong, ending up in such devastating circumstances.

  Anyway, wandering around in your thoughts isn't going to change anything, in fact it makes your life miserable. Hence, now and then, it's just recap and go. Life isn't gonna wait for anyone, and that means anyone. A special occasion is coming up, and I would like to indirectly wish an early Happy Birthday in advance. It's sad that I couldn't full-fill my promises, and I'm sorry everything turned up the way we wouldn't want it to be,  but life's just so unpredictable, you'll never know what'll happen next. And of course, recap and go, signing off here will mean an end to my memory lane and back to reality, for now that is. All I hope is that the 'mii' in another world, would do so much more better for you right now. Given yet another chance, things would be so much more different... ^-^

Signing off,
Nickel Low CJ